Not One Thing

by Hannah Bowers

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1.
This sunshine And this coffee Are all that I need on me I'm sick of never talking I'm sick but I'm not taking Medication I just breathe it out Meditations not the easy route I laugh when I can think about Something else than pressure And the lesson is My headphones are too loud now They drown the ups and downs out The new numb is irritation How bout that for validation? I'm alone, my own vacation I'm alone, my own vacation I'm alone, I'm hiding places Never known until I tasted it And I bask in it I bathe in it I wrap myself in blankets in The cold I'm always shaking In the dark and in the day Every day, no medication Every day, in meditation I'm alone my own vacation Every day, every day
2.
Almost 25 03:47
I got my t shirt sleeves Rolled up And my favorite hat I got a stain on my jeans but it doesn’t matter They’re black Like every other god damn pair that I have Don’t think that’s changing soon and I’m fine with that Haven’t had a girlfriend since around 2018 Met a few girls but they don’t mean a thing to me So I’m left with my selfishness And my patience While best friends gettin engages to the love of his life but I’m fine with that Yeah life is nice Getting older all the time I think I might Waste my night Talkin shit with friends that I like And getting high Never low In it alone but Im might survive Cause I’m almost 25 and I’m Feeling alive I apologize to everyone Who ever stands what it means To live a life in shame And apologize for apologizing But I’m sorry I just have to say what I'm thinking I know you might not agree with me now But you’ll see it soon Yeah life is nice Getting older all the time I think I might Waste my night Talkin shit with friends that I like And getting high Never low In it alone but Im might survive Cause I’m almost 25 and I’m Feeling alive Oh I’ve been there before I’ve been right where you’re standing And I’ve been there before When everything around you’s sinking Yeah I’ve been there before When living feels like dying Oh I’ve been there And I’m not there anymore Yeah life is nice Getting older all the time I think I might Waste my night Talkin shit with friends that I like And getting high Never low In it alone but Im might survive Cause I’m almost 25 and I’m Feeling alive
3.
Bad Behavior 03:19
I got a big heart You can rent a room It’s got thick walls and space for you I keep a few vacant spots unlocked For the next cute girl who walks down my block I'm fallin all over the place and I’d pay for your way callin in sick day and use up my savings Just to hear your voice scream my name please Say it again with emphasis In between a couple of expletives Comin out of your cage exorcist Hot fuzz and buzz from cool beverages New digs and new memberships Sign up for a friend this one comes with benefits I wanna see what you think about me I wanna see how you feel around me I wanna hear how you speak Talk about me Talk about me everything about you is a mystery the more i try, the less it makes sense to me i get goosebumps when you’re standing next to me i get confused when you treat me extra friend-ily your next enemy your next or ex or extraordinarily great sex best but not second bet your ass on it call you a minute call you when i want it I wanna see what you think about me I wanna see how you feel around me I wanna hear how you speak Talk about me Talk about me Put your words on a string Pull me in by your fingers Tie me up real good for Bad behavior I wanna see what you think about me I wanna see how you feel around me I wanna hear how you speak Talk about me Talk about me
4.
Bad Things 03:39
5.
Meaning Less 02:01
She said I’m like a teacher A phase, a painting Her favorite phrase or saying A talent show, her favorite Beautiful and wise She said she liked my eyes And then I smiled Familiar hadn’t felt it in a while She said she likes my songs And my fingers when I play them She asks me can I play for her Can I come over later Can you look at me like that again Can you speak a little louder Cause I painted you this masterpiece It’s us it’s space it’s flowers It’s all the things you like It’s more It’s me it’s mine I made for you, I made it you, I made you Then her voice grew And can you speak a little softer She says she doesn’t like the way I talk to her When she gets sad, yeah Can you speak a little softer Can we speak a little less Can we see each other less Can we be less Meaning less Can we speak less Can we see each other less Can we be less? Meaning Less
6.
What I Wrote 03:34
I don’t mind being alone I actually prefer it for the most part Check in myself in a mirror God it feels so good to feel this beautiful Asking myself many questions Where’s the catch and where is the line this time I won’t mind it when I reach it God it feels so good to feel Invincible I can feel it Physical in each and every note That’s what I wrote Invincible I can be Impossibles not for me, oh no that’s what I wrote And if I write it I might mean it soon Everyday's a new impression Takin my sweet time to get know it Everyone is interesting Everyone is scared to get to know them Let’s get to know them Oh answering important questions Where you from and where you think you’re going Oh I don’t know where I might go I flow until I lose it And I love it and I leave it I’m living like I’m finally Invincible I can feel it Physical in each and every note That’s what I wrote Invincible I can be Impossibles not for me, oh no that’s what I wrote And if I write it I might mean it soon Sit back down And learn another verse from me It’s not easy but it’s not hard to be So stubborn It gets so hot in the summer Man I get you’re uncomfortable Yeah it’s on fire for me It’s like every days 100 more degrees Don’t fight it now youre coolin back down Invincible I can feel it Physical in each and every note That’s what I wrote Invincible I can be Impossibles not for me, oh no that’s what I wrote You are invincible
7.
8.
Green 00:39
9.
I wanna do so much but There’s so much too do Sometimes it feels too much but I got nothin to lose Wake up and take a breath Make a big old breakfast Say my name 3 times Remind myself that I’m alive And try oh so very hard I wanna do so much but There’s so much too do Sometimes it feels too much but I got nothin to lose I’m not loser I’m a winner I’m right at the beginning of my list of Shit to do Oh fuck man there’s so much to do My dreams are all so big and I’m so small Sometimes i feel I don’t exist at all I get smothered and smitten at Thought of myself gettin what I want You ask me what I want? I wanna do so much but There’s so much too do Sometimes it feels too much but I got nothin to lose I’m not loser I’m a winner I’m right at the beginning of my list of Shit to do Oh fuck man there’s so much to do Count em count em off 1 2 3 4 10 plus now 50 more Now step now step Now counting off your breath I can’t keep up I’m stuck I’m failure in a rut cause there's so much to do I wanna do so much but There’s so much too do Sometimes it feels too much but I got nothin to lose I’m not loser I’m a winner I’m right at the beginning of my list of Shit to do Oh fuck man there’s so much to do
10.
Whatever 03:04
Recommend we end it right here cause friendliness goes whenever you’re near a kiss for right now it’s just for right now the clock it ticks down as you’re goin’ down now we’re goin’ out you called me last night you called me today you called me your girl you called me your babe end it right now end it right here cause friends don’t act up this friends gettin’ weird She said whatever Hope you feel better See you in another life I guess, brother sister, guess I don’t miss her Correct me please cause I beg to differ Whatever, whatever, whatever Hope you feel better send a text to explain your absence start to stress and rest in your ashes flicker burnin up from your matches set me in me the fire for good measure said the world will teach me a lesson cept the scars don’t make me a woman separate the rest from your past and everyone you meet has gone bad (He's a bad egg) She said whatever Hope you feel better See you in another life I guess, brother sister, guess I don’t miss her Correct me please cause I beg to differ Whatever, whatever, whatever Hope you feel better she said whatever don’t think we’ll ever get back together hope it gets better
11.
How many girls did you call last week? 7 texts and a missed call please How many girls did you call last week ? yeah Found a little time to think and relax You found a little time to hit me back Took a little too long I liked that I like that But you came over and it put me in a bad mood Lip stick on your neck what’s that Do I look like a fool Do I look like a fool? How many girls did you call last week? 7 texts and a missed call please How many girls did you call last week ? And did you miss me? Did you miss me Goin out we made plans for next week But what happens when you’re not with me So much can happen between now and next week Please, tell me Cause honestly we can be friends if you wanna be On me platonically yes that’s fine with me How many girls did you call last week? 7 texts and a missed call please How many girls did you call last week ? And did you miss me? How many boys lining down your street Caught you in Beamer rollin in the front seat How many times did you fall last week? And did you fall deep? Or did you miss me?
12.
Sing-a-long 02:51
picture perfect situation for ya bets off and beds are always nice talk a lot of game but couldn’t take the spotlight neither could you ever play it right teach me how to sing along i know you know the words i know you know teach me how to play along like every other girl i know you want cut the conversation cause could’t keep up with you every second word your shut me out silence is dangerous it’s quite romantic something you’d know everything about teach me how to sing along i know you know the words i know you know teach me how to play along like every other girl i know you want
13.
Catch 02:48
she’s got a man i got her down like the back of my hand but she’s got a man i got a problem cause i can’t get her outta my head it goes way way way way back i’m out again guess i’ll never win she’s quite a catch my god I’m running outta breath Gotta save my self for a better love I guess she’s a lot I know I’m taken by her soul she’s a catch she’s got a man she’s her future all laid out she’s got a plan and i hate to ruin them but i am and if she looks at me like that again I’ll pretend she’s mine if just for then she’s quite a catch my god I’m running outta breath Gotta save my self for a better love I guess she’s a lot I know I’m taken by her soul she’s a catch her if I can she’s got a man oh damn i’m waiting for the end oh man oh my oh no i can’t her go she’s quite a catch my god I’m running outta breath Gotta save my self for a better love I guess she’s a lot I know I’m taken by her soul she’s a catch her if I can
14.
Ritz Carlton 03:19
15.
I think Joanna knows me I read it in her notes I think she’s barely holdin on to somethin I think she’s letting go I think Joanna’s sleepin I’m dancing while she’s dreamin I found her in a heartbreak state of mind And I can’t control the seasons Where does she go When she gets lonely Why does it hurt When she gets home Travel the world When she gets older Nobody wants to be alone I hope Joanna’s happy She holds the sun inside her hands She rolls the window down And flower crowns and Ice breakers and new best friends She paints the walls with new best friends She walks the street to new best friends She digs her nails into best friends I wanna be her new best friend Where does she go When she gets lonely Why does it hurt When she gets home Travel the world When she gets older Nobody wants to be alone
16.
Happy 03:20
Take it or leave it I really hope you’ll take but I’ll leave it up to you Make it break it stir it up and shake it Toss back a few 123 swear to god it’s easy like tyin’ you shoes so you trip a lil a less and you're picking up your mess and you're lookin just a little more cool So set an intention and start to pay some attention to the way you speak to you I want you To be happy I want you To be free I want you To be happy I know you’re not that sad but you’re not that happy too blessed to be stress relief take it all out of me whats up with you? can you be real with me nothin shy of bravery vulnerability too So set an intention and start to pay some attention take a look outside at the view I want you To be happy I want you To be free I want you To be happy Everyone’s a lil lonely, but i got you i want you to live fully i need you to breathe deep i want you to be happy i know you’re not that sad but you’re not that happy i know you’re not that sad but if you are nothings wrong with that it’s just in like a fad and gone just as fast it’s just as bad as everyone else in fact did you ever stop to how long it really lasts? forevers not too bad you take a step back and step to the right another perspective just might help you find light and guidance and people start to get nicer and life gets wider and everything inside starts to feel better… I want you To be happy I want you To be free I want you To be happy I want you to be happy i want you to live fully i need you to breathe deep i want you to be happy (fuck it everyone wants to be happy) I want you To be happy I want you To be free I want you To be happy Everyone’s a lil lonely, but i got you i want you to live fully i need you to breathe deep i want you to be happy i know you’re not that sad but you’re not that happy

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released May 28, 2021

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Hannah Bowers Los Angeles, California

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